eh my life sucks. school is ending, and i am having serious, unhealthy, insane separation anxiety about switching my advisor next semester. seriously, i got really used to having my advisor and hes really helpful and think about it...
the freshman center has three advisors who take care of the the one entire freshman class. the sophomores, juniors, seniors, and grad students have two advisors who take care of everyone else combined. you tell me what the better end of this deal is? I'm not weird. this isnt weird im scared.
not to mention one of my friends decided to set me up on a blind date for tomorrow night without telling me. i don't want to be set up on any dates i don't need dates. i go to the gym on wednesday nights i would rather be there.
besides, i saw his facebook hes not my type hes not bad ass enough and hes bald... on purpose. yea, hes purposely bald i dont get it? like, your 23 don't you want hair until you cant have it anymore?
i'm picking him apart but like.. i don't know him yet. if hes really nice ill be really guilty i wrote this. (but probably not still into him)
ps. watch the movie waterworld. im watching it right now as i publicly microanalyze my love life and this movie rocks all the socks in the universe. thanks ill miss you bye.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
i think im freaking out
Today is the last day of the semester and my Business Law Professor decided to cancel class. On top of it our final is in two days.
I'm freaking out because I've had a hard time with this class all semester and when i tried to go to his extra help he was never in his office. He's the most unprofessional educator i have ever come across and i just hope i can pull a B- at minimum on this test so i can keep my scholarship.
he's basically the only problem I've had. All of my other professors have been really understanding. given i have been out a lot from class this semester for personal reasons. but not law he stinks man =p
he also cut me off while i was on my way to school one day. i mean, what makes you so important? everyone driving up that hill was going to HIS CLASS and he cut us all off.
Anyway, for the past two semesters at St. John's I've been worried about losing my scholarship. Its probably because i know I'm not working to my potential i do the minimum amount of work necessary. This is not a habit i want to continue.
for next semester I'm thinking about quitting my job and focusing on school. I never had this kind of work ethic before and I've come to the conclusion that work is an unnecessary stress that takes up mostly 50% of my time. (it makes me run back and fourth to long island 4 days a week. how could someone do that and school? its tough you know?)
right now I'm just rushing to finish up some missing papers and other small projects.
hope with me that i keep this scholarship and don't piss my parents off anymore than they already are. not to mention, hope with me that i don't lose my scholarship so i can still consider myself more intelligent that 90% of this freshman class.
I'm freaking out because I've had a hard time with this class all semester and when i tried to go to his extra help he was never in his office. He's the most unprofessional educator i have ever come across and i just hope i can pull a B- at minimum on this test so i can keep my scholarship.
he's basically the only problem I've had. All of my other professors have been really understanding. given i have been out a lot from class this semester for personal reasons. but not law he stinks man =p
he also cut me off while i was on my way to school one day. i mean, what makes you so important? everyone driving up that hill was going to HIS CLASS and he cut us all off.
Anyway, for the past two semesters at St. John's I've been worried about losing my scholarship. Its probably because i know I'm not working to my potential i do the minimum amount of work necessary. This is not a habit i want to continue.
for next semester I'm thinking about quitting my job and focusing on school. I never had this kind of work ethic before and I've come to the conclusion that work is an unnecessary stress that takes up mostly 50% of my time. (it makes me run back and fourth to long island 4 days a week. how could someone do that and school? its tough you know?)
right now I'm just rushing to finish up some missing papers and other small projects.
hope with me that i keep this scholarship and don't piss my parents off anymore than they already are. not to mention, hope with me that i don't lose my scholarship so i can still consider myself more intelligent that 90% of this freshman class.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
eww kisses
im a horrible person. i hate every guy ive ever dated. the last guy i dated ruined my professional life and the guy before that i dont talk about.
worst of all i dont hate these people at all i hate all the nice guys coming around now.
i hate nice guys they bore me. i figure someone just as weird as me can balance me out and we can all hate our lives together.
i should have went to art school like i wanted to.
tonight i went on a really cliche date. me and this really genuinely nice, healthy guy saw made of honor. i hated it it was so.. girly and stupid and unreal. people dont just fall in love like that with their best friends.
all my best friends are guys and im not in love with any of them i just love them but like family.
btw. i know for a fact that there is a difference between love and in-love. in-love is that excited, lusty, cant get enough of you feeling that makes everyone else n the room wanna throw up old milk and gross stuff all over you.
love is just being able to be around someone, not even having to say anything. you could just be sitting with the person, silent, doing completely different things, but you still feel whole.
idk thats just what i think. i like the idea of just loving someone as oppose to being in-love. ive loved before and it just feels more real. in-love feelings fade, but love feelings become like a part of you ya know? sometimes they could even define who you are. because who you love is what your ultimate joy is. and the polor opposite of that person would be who you hate.
but i dont love or am not in-love right now.
this blog sucks im going to bed.
worst of all i dont hate these people at all i hate all the nice guys coming around now.
i hate nice guys they bore me. i figure someone just as weird as me can balance me out and we can all hate our lives together.
i should have went to art school like i wanted to.
tonight i went on a really cliche date. me and this really genuinely nice, healthy guy saw made of honor. i hated it it was so.. girly and stupid and unreal. people dont just fall in love like that with their best friends.
all my best friends are guys and im not in love with any of them i just love them but like family.
btw. i know for a fact that there is a difference between love and in-love. in-love is that excited, lusty, cant get enough of you feeling that makes everyone else n the room wanna throw up old milk and gross stuff all over you.
love is just being able to be around someone, not even having to say anything. you could just be sitting with the person, silent, doing completely different things, but you still feel whole.
idk thats just what i think. i like the idea of just loving someone as oppose to being in-love. ive loved before and it just feels more real. in-love feelings fade, but love feelings become like a part of you ya know? sometimes they could even define who you are. because who you love is what your ultimate joy is. and the polor opposite of that person would be who you hate.
but i dont love or am not in-love right now.
this blog sucks im going to bed.
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