eww kisses

im a horrible person. i hate every guy ive ever dated. the last guy i dated ruined my professional life and the guy before that i dont talk about.

worst of all i dont hate these people at all i hate all the nice guys coming around now.

i hate nice guys they bore me. i figure someone just as weird as me can balance me out and we can all hate our lives together.

i should have went to art school like i wanted to.

tonight i went on a really cliche date. me and this really genuinely nice, healthy guy saw made of honor. i hated it it was so.. girly and stupid and unreal. people dont just fall in love like that with their best friends.

all my best friends are guys and im not in love with any of them i just love them but like family.

btw. i know for a fact that there is a difference between love and in-love. in-love is that excited, lusty, cant get enough of you feeling that makes everyone else n the room wanna throw up old milk and gross stuff all over you.

love is just being able to be around someone, not even having to say anything. you could just be sitting with the person, silent, doing completely different things, but you still feel whole.

idk thats just what i think. i like the idea of just loving someone as oppose to being in-love. ive loved before and it just feels more real. in-love feelings fade, but love feelings become like a part of you ya know? sometimes they could even define who you are. because who you love is what your ultimate joy is. and the polor opposite of that person would be who you hate.

but i dont love or am not in-love right now.

this blog sucks im going to bed.